Our Twilight Parody
by Cold War Takeover
Summary: Our Twilight parody, which we will soon post to youtube! :D
1. Characters & Copyrights

TWILIGHT PARODY SCRIPT

© Lawanda Alexander

© Katherine Hadden

Charecters © Stephanie Meyer

CAST:

Edward/James: Kathy

Bella

eacher/Secretary: _____________

Charlie/Bad Guy #1: _________________

Bad Guys #2 & 3: ___________; ____________________; __________________

People in Restaurant: Money 1______________ Money 2_________________ Sex 1_________________Sex 2_______________ Cats________________

Person in car: __________________

Extra Characters:

______________________: ____________________

______________________: ____________________

______________________: ____________________


	2. Scenes 1 through 3

SCENE ONE/BELL. SEES ED. IN CAFETERIA

(_Bella and Jessica are sitting in the cafeteria during lunch, when Edward walks in [stupidly])_

B: "Who's that?"

J: "Oh, that's just Edward _Cullen_. But apparently none of the girls here are good enough for him, so I wouldn't bother asking—"

E: _smiles as he sits down_

B: "I WASN'T GOING TO!!!" _gets up and runs over to Edward and gets in his face_ "HI! I'm Bella Cullen…I mean, Bella! I'm new here! HI EDWARD!!!"

E: "Umm…I didn't know we were married…well…uh…nice to, er, meet you…Bella…" _gets up and runs away quickly, tripping over a rock/chair/brick/etc._

B: "Awwww…Well, he seems nice!"

SCENE TWO/BELL. SITS NEXT TO ED. IN BIO

_(Edward is sitting in his seat during Bio, when Bella walks in. She walks in front of the fan, and he scoots over while covering his nose. She stares at him like he's crazy, shrugs, and walks up to the teacher. She turns in her papers and sits next to Edward, who scoots over as much as he can.)_

B: "Um…hi…?"

T: _hands them their assignment, a microscope and some slides. Walks off_

E: _still covering his nose, nudges the equipment to Bella_

B: _annoyed _"Well then…!"

SCENE THREE/ED. IS NOT AT SCHOOL

(_Bella_ _walks into the cafeteria with Jessica, tray in hand. She sits down and looks for Edward. Jessica notices this.)_

J: "The Cullens aren't here."

B: "Huh? Oh, why?"

J: "I don't know. The doctor and his wife pull 'em out of class and take them hiking or something."

B: "AWWWWWW!!!!" _cries all through lunch_


	3. Scenes 4 through 6

SCENE FOUR/ED. COMES BACK

(_Bella is doodling when Edward walks in. He sits down next to her and starts reading. Bella throws up her papers and smiles at him. He turns to her for a split second and looks at her like she's crazy, then goes back to reading. She pokes him on the cheek.)_

E: _sighs_ "What, Bella?"

B: "You were gone."

E: "So?"

B: "Why?" _takes a drink of water_ _from her water bottle_

E: "We're not allowed to have drinks in class."

B: _smiles_ "So?"

E: "Ugh!!!"

B: _sighs and looks down_ "Do you really hate me that much?"

E: "Yes, in fact, I—"

B: _pouts_

E: _sees her. takes a deep breath_ "I was camping."

B: "Where?"

E: "Alaska."

B: _does a spit-take_ "CAN I GO TO ALASKA NEXT TIME????"

E: "I was with my girlfriend Tanya."

B: "WHAT???"

E: "Yup! She's blonde" _messes with his hair _"Busty" _cups his boobs "_AND SHE'S A FREAKIN VAM—"

B: _interrupts him by crying and falling out of her chair_

E: _shakes his head and raises his hand _"Mr…whatever-your-name-is, can we please have today's assignment before Bella here has a panic-attack?"

B: "WHAT DID YOU SAY????"

E: _corrects himself_ "Before Bella here gets over-excited."

SCENE FIVE/ED. SAVES BELL.

(_Bella is walking down the street with her book about vampires, when she is surrounded by three bad guys. They all smile evily at her and she looks scared. Edward drives up in his car.)_

E: "Bella, get in the car!"

B: _gets into the car_

E: _gets out and (pretends to) beat-up the stalkers_

_(A SIGN GOES UP SAYING "A FEW MNINUTES LATER…")_

B: "How did you know I was there? OH MY GOSH, WERE YOU _STALKING_ ME???"

E: "No…you were…um…JUST DISTRACT ME, BELLA!!!"

B: "Umm…put your seat-belt on…?"

E: _laughs_ "Put _your_ seat-belt on."

B: _obeys_

E: "You…um…want to go to a restaurant with me? Or…something?"

B: "OK!!!"

SCENE SIX/SEX, MONEY, AND CATS

(_Edward is picking at his food and Bella is eating greedily. Finally, she looks up at him and speaks.)_

B: "Edward, why do your eyes change colors?"

E: "Hey, did you know that I can read minds?"

B: "Talk about changing the subject!!!" _sighs_ "Really?"

E: _nods and points at people as he speaks_ "Money…Sex…Money….Sex…Cats?"

C: _sighs and smiles_

B: _makes a weirded-out face_

(LATER, IN THE CAR)

B: _huffs_ "I think I'm warm enough, now."

_(Both reach for the heater, and Bella feels how cold Edward is.)_

B: "Edward, your hand is so cold!"

E: "Uhhh….so…?"

B: _punches (LIGHTLY!!!) Edward's shoulder _"Can't you say anything else for once!"

E: "Nope."


	4. Scenes 7 through 9

SCENE SEVEN/ED. IS A STALKER!!!

(_Bella is asleep and having a nightmare. She keeps yelling out "EDWARD!! EDWARD, DON'T EAT ME!!!" Edward is in the corner, watching her with a concerned face. She wakes up and looks around the room. She sees Edward and screams, accidentally unplugging the lamp that was keeping the room lit-up. When she finally gets it plugged back in, Edward is gone.)_

SCENE EIGHT/BELL. KNOWS!

(_Bella angrily walks by Edward with her backpack, hitting him in the stomach. He doesn't budge and isn't knocked backward.)_

E: "Damn, she knows…" _follows after her into the woods_

(IN THE WOODS…)

(_Edward is standing behind Bella as she acts sad/angry/annoyed/etc., Bella chooses. This is definitely a movie moment XD)_

E: "So, you know what I am?"

B: _nods "_You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change color, and sometimes you speak like you're not from our time. You never eat or drink anything…You don't go out in the sunlight." _Sighs_ "How old are you?"

E: "Seventeen."

B: "How long have you been seventeen?"

E: "…A while…"

B: "I know what you are."

E: _leans scarily close to Bella _"Say it. Out loud."

B: _makes a face and steps away from him_ "Vampire."

E: "Are you afraid?"

B: _sighs_ "Yes."

E: _makes an angry face and turns away _"Good! You should be!" _starts to walk off_

B: _grabs his arm_ "NO!!! I'm just scared off losing you!!!"

E: _huffs_ "That's not good for you, Bella."

B: "Why?"

E: "Lemme put it this way…: 'RAWR!!! IMA A VAMPIRE!! IM GONNA EEEEAAAATTT YYYYOOOOUUUU!!!!!'"

B: "S-so?"

E: _rolls his eyes_

SCENE NINE/YOU NEED TO MEET MY FAMILY…

(_Bella is doing homework on the trunk of her car, when Edward jumps down noiselessly.)_

B: "Can you act humanly for just a MINUTE?! I have neighbors, you know…"

E: "I have to show you my family…"

B: "What if they don't like me?"

E: "Whoa whoa whoa, you're being taken to a house full of vampires, and you're scared they won't _approve_ _of you_?"

B: _nods_

E: "OK then! Just checking." _Grins_


	5. Scene 10

SCENE TEN/YOU STOLE MY JACKET!!

(_The Cullens—Jasper, Esme, and Emmett, ONLY—and Bella are face to face with James.)_

Jm: _takes a deep breath and sees Bella _"You brought a snack..." _lunges for Bella_

_The Cullens step in front of Bella_.

Em: "She's with us."

B: _stares at James and gasps "_YOU STOLE MY JACKET!!!!" _steps face to face with James_

Jm: _sneers _"Actually, you let your friend Britney borrow it, and, well, she didn't seem to need it anymore…"

B: _gasps_ "YOU KILLED BRITNEY?!?!"

Everyone but James: O_____O

THE END!!!


End file.
